IV-11-01

Perils of Penile Malfunction

by G. Buday aka Black Jester

I was born on May 29th of 1978 in Toronto’s Mt. Sinai’ Hospital with perfect Hungarian genes (and some others) giving me super human stubbornness, the
ability to cut through bullshit with a single thought, a tremendous god complex and an ability to take pain if I really had to; but what was the trade off?


My pecker and the learning disabilities (but the LD thing can wait for now), I was born with a congenital urological problem. This gave me several holes
along the urethra causing me to pee like a thin water sprinkler people lay along the grass. I went in for a reconstruction and what does the good doctor
do? Forget the stent, BRILLIANT!!!!! So a few years go bye and scar tissue builds and I go for another botched surgery and this goes on to a marvelous
future of dilations, inadequacies with women and being too unreliable for employment. I was only sixteen when a dilation was followed up with sulfa
and a nasty reaction causing fever and an eventual firing from my first job.


Three years ago I got over the loss of first team talent and found a consultation job and afterwards ended up in the hospital for a dilation, and to my wondrous ears I do here, “we couldn’t dilate this year.” It was blocked and the worst thing a man could ever hear about his dick, “you may need reconstructive surgery,” Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Something I dread and put off for as long as I could, the reconstruction of my urethra. I go in for a bypass, so I can stay off the catheter, a month later, and oh nothing feels as bizarre as peeing through a bypass in the lower urethra.


After the reconstruction I had to do everything I could to avoid the dreaded erection, I even asked my doctor if he had anti-viagra,
yet there was none, man that is an erection any person would wish they could forget man oh man was that a bitch, it’s a good thing for the T3s. After the ordeal I had to heal and keep the sexual frustration at bay, for I knew if there was a risk for a lapse and a loss of nerve in the morale area this was it. If there is a good place to humanize women in your mind while dealing with these issues, it’s a strip club, and it’s a good thing that’s one thing the NPA’s (Vancouver’s Ruling Party) anti-fun brigade hasn’t yet kicked out of Vancouver.


So things are getting better and then some trouble starts, stones in the urethra and a little narrowing; oh good!…more brain surgery!!!. So I go in for another lovely camera shoot up my semen launcher and then have a dilation, only to have to continue waiting to see if things are going to take. To make things worse I met a lady, and the inadequacy is even greater; so this god damn thing has ruined my god damn life; well maybe not the dick, that old ass hole who operated on me as a kid, I hope one day a can stand up and pee again so I can visit his grave. On a lighter note, as I close, if this girl Eva (E.V.@R.D.S.L.) ever sees this, you went out of your way for me at my worst time (in between surgeries) you didn’t know what I was going through and had nothing to gain but I’ll never forget it; your a good friend and I still “salute” you (inside joke). On the up side, I have nothing to lose because of this so at least no one in their right mind would fuck with me. Mwuahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! >:-{))>